Support Through The End & The Beginning

This one might be heavy.

In fact, I’m certain it will be.

We had a consultation in December and we talked for a long while.

The connection was real.

We laughed and talked and laughed some more.

Then we agreed that we’d work together and we worked out when her deposit would be made.

The consultation ended and my damn heart strings got to tugging and I’m not quite sure why.

I kept hearing “Put something on her balance.”

Now naturally, I’m like “Wait Jesus! Why?!”

I walked away from the computer for maybe 10 minutes and it wouldn’t leave me alone.

I also know that slow obedience is still disobedience so I followed directions.

I put $30 towards her balance but I didn’t say anything to her about it but I felt better.

The bricks were lifted off my chest.

Sidebar: When I’m supposed to do or say something, it feels like someone or a stack of bricks are just on my chest and once it’s done or said, I feel much better.

I got a text maybe a day or so later saying “Hey. I got an email that a payment was made on my account and it wasn’t me.”

I let her know that it was me and we had a little moment and we moved on.

Fast forward to the New Year.

My aunt passes, I let all my moms know that I would be rescheduling accordingly and all was well.

This particular client told me that she was having issues with her family too.

I asked until she told me what was wrong and that was when she told me her mother had been missing since January 2nd.

I was finding out on January 4th.

I comforted her as best I could and we finished our conversation.

On January 17th her mother was found deceased.

In the meantime, my prayer was simply that her mother was found.

Preferably alive but just found.

Here’s why found was my concern: I didn’t want her entering the birthing space with the uncertainty of where her mother was.

Though she knew the outcome of the search for her mother, it didn’t change the grief that was to follow.

She grieved silently but she grieved nonetheless and that was a start.

Fast forward to labor and birth.

I could see her mind was on her mom in waves.

Watered eyes, a heaving chest and gritted teeth-she labored.

She labored well and birthed like a pro.

She moved to the postpartum room and the nurse wrote her name on the board and my client cried.

The nurse and her mother share a name.

A gentle reminder that her mother was there with her.

She goes home with this new life to her mother’s remains and I believe the grief kicked up several notches.

Over time our relationship shifted from doula-client to friends.

Hell, probably even good sis status.

We learned so much about each other and how small the world is.

We’re connected to the same cities and states, some of the same people.

Now we talk like two old ladies on the phone. 😂

The point of it all is that sometimes doula support stretches far beyond birth.

Sometimes the clients have real life issues outside of pregnancy that they need support through and you find ways to just be who and what they need in ways that stretch you beyond your limits.

It’s par for the course- part of the job.

To you, my friend: Supporting you has been a journey I’m so grateful for. I thought I was pouring into you but you have poured into me tremendously. Watching you evolve into Super Mom has been truly beautiful and eye opening. I have no doubt that you will soar to higher heights and raise a beautiful young man in the process. Keep being you, my girl. Keep being you!

-Aeryka✌🏾💜