But This Time Was Different

Alright, folks!

You know the drill.

I’ll do my best to keep this brief but don’t hold me to it!

Picture it.

Christmas time.

2023.

I got a text from my best friend asking if I had availability for summer 2024.

I said yes and didn’t think much more about it because that’s a question she’s asked a few times when she wanted to refer clients to me.

It wasn’t until a few days later that I even understood why she’d asked and it was because her cousin was expecting.

I spoke with her cousin and asked what type of support she was looking for.

You know, just to make sure we could really work together because we’ve interacted before but not this intimately.

We were both on board but I had a pressing question to ask and I wasn’t sure how to ask it.

It was simple: “Are you sure you want to work with me?”

She said “Yeah. Why?”

Without saying all that I said, I’ll just say this: A previous baby was born sleeping on my birthday and I know she knew that but I didn’t want to be a trigger. Regardless of the fact that the baby would be born before that day, I knew that I could be a trigger.

She said she was fine with it and I was fine with it so we started our journey together.

Through prenatal visits and lots of phone calls and text messages, we got to know each other better and had some pretty deep conversations.

She agrees to an induction but this was a summer baby and y’all know this is baby boom season so the beds were not plentiful.

She was supposed to go in on a Tuesday but there were no beds available until Friday.

Now we’re at induction day.

She goes in, the process is started, I arrive later.

She has an epidural when I get there but still experiencing a lot of discomfort.

So I come with the oils like I do. My nice soothing blend to calm her but something was off.

She had her bolus button and was wearing that junt OUT but she was still uncomfortable.

I apply counter pressure on her hips, give her my hand to squeeze as hard as she needed to and she had the touch LED lamp for sensory comfort and something was still off.

She told me that she felt like she could walk if she needed to and that’s when I knew that her epidural was misplaced.

I stepped out to go to the desk to let them know that it wasn’t working and that she felt like she can walk.

The nurse says “Oh she should still be able to feel her legs. It’s ok.”

I said “Nah, not after three hours she shouldn’t.”

The nurse: I’m telling you, she is fine and should still be able to feel her legs but not move them.”

Me, internally:

Me, outardly: “Ok. I’ll just let her walk out here and tell you what she’s feeling.”

The nurse and the motherfu…*ahem*…excuse me.

The nurse and the gentleman on the anesthesia team sitting right next to her rush into the room and see her moving to sit up on the side of the bed.

The nurse says to me, “Oh you meant literally.”

Me, outwardly:

Me, internally:

The anesthesia team comes in and replaces her epidural and at this point she’s progressed pretty far along and was nearing the transition stage of labor.

She makes it to that stage and the discomfort is back but that’s to be expected because there’s nothing that can mask the pain of a bowling ball squeezing to a toilet paper roll.

She reaches the point where she can’t resist the urge to push and in less than 20 minutes we have a baby girl1

It was a truly emotional moment because this time was different.

I was upfront and honest with her throughout her pregnancy that there might be moments of anxiety when she reached the point at which she experienced loss with her first baby or when she started to experience the random aches and pains that come with pregnancy or when she was in the thick of labor because this time would be different and foreign.

We didn’t have much time to debrief or allow me to help her with the first latch because of hospital visitor policies but I gave her the quick and dirty debrief and bounced.

I made it to the elevator and my own eye levees broke because we made it.

I never doubted that we would but I eventually ran out of words and affirmations to give her to help her believe that she would make it to the finish line, that she and her baby would be healthy and that she wasn’t going to experience what she did previously.

I did tell her a lot that I had her back and I meant it.

I wasn’t going to let anything happen to her.

I was glad that al went well and Miss Mamas got baby girl earth side without major hiccups!

To Miss Mamas: Thank you for trusting me and allowing me on this journey with you! It was an honor to hold space for you and your sweet girl! I know that this is all an adjustment but I trust that you will be just fine. You have a strong village and even more than that, you have the tenacity of ox. I know that you will always persevere and make it happen. You are a warrior and I’m so, so proud of you!

Luh you real big, hear?

-Aeryka 💜🤍🩵